


Snow Place Like Home for the Holidays

by artificialmac



Series: Holiday Collaborations [3]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: M/M, angst and fluff ensue, blizzard forces them to spend a few days together in a cabin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:10:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21909391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmac/pseuds/artificialmac
Summary: In hindsight, maybe Brock should have checked his phone before traveling several hours to a cabin in the mountains. If he had, then maybe, justmaybe, he wouldn’t be stranded in said cabin.With his ex.Clearly the universe was not on his side that day.
Relationships: Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo
Series: Holiday Collaborations [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558447
Comments: 24
Kudos: 39





	Snow Place Like Home for the Holidays

In hindsight, maybe Brock should have checked his phone before traveling several hours to a cabin in the mountains. If he had, then maybe, _ just maybe_, he wouldn’t be stranded in said cabin. 

With his ex.

Clearly the universe was not on his side that day.

He had desperately hoped that someone else, _ anyone else _ would show up so that there would at least be a third person around to alleviate some of the tension that still hung between himself and Jose, but no one else came. 

Just his luck.

By the time Brock arrived at the cabin, Jose was already making himself at home, causing Brock’s stomach to sink the moment he saw the other man lounging around the living room. 

The scene was too familiar. Jose lying across the couch, feet propped up on the far armrest, playing on his phone lazily. The thought crossed Brock’s mind that if he took the spot beside Jose, he would only have to lift his head up slightly to card his fingers through his hair.

The scene was _ painfully _ familiar.

When the younger man finally glanced up, he couldn’t (or didn’t, Brock wasn’t sure which) control the emotions that played out on his face. Joy, pain, fear, and turmoil all crossed Jose’s features in a matter of seconds before he settled on a sad smile.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Brock stood there for an appropriately awkward amount of time before loudly clearing his throat, adding to the tension even more.

“Did you see the text?”

“What text?”

“Reunion was canceled. Nina said there’s a big storm coming this way.” 

Jose looked at the rug beneath him. “Dammit.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go call Steve, see if he can get me a flight back.”

Jose nodded slowly. He had a strange look on his face and wouldn’t meet Brock’s eyes, content to stare blankly down at the carpeted floor beneath them. He seemed... out of it. And Brock cursed himself for knowing Jose well enough to know that he wasn’t okay.

_ It’s fine. _ He told himself. _ It’s normal and fine for exes to still know a lot about each other. And care about the other’s well being. It’s fine. _

Jose looked up at him finally. His sad smile had vanished in favor of an unreadable expression.

_ Totally fine. _

Brock took the remaining silence as his cue to move to another room and call, but just before he entered the kitchen he found himself stopping.

“Do you need anything?” Brock asked softly. “Need me to call anyone?”

Jose looked back down to his feet and smiled sadly once more. 

“Nah, think I’m jus gonna stay here.” He paused. “I could use a few days to myself. Away from all that crazy shit.” 

Brock nodded understandingly. He was familiar with the feeling of just wanting to take a break for once. He longed to be able to lay around and do nothing, rather than filling every single day with gigs and flights, photoshoots and filming opportunities.

It was a lot.

The idea of spending a few days in the mountains, no alarm set on his phone sounded like heaven.

But he couldn’t do that. 

He needed to get back home.

The time he had allocated to coming to the unofficial season 11 reunion that Nina had planned was too much time already.

Brock shook his head to clear it, then made a move back toward the kitchen.

“Oh, Brock!” Jose called after him. “Cell service is kinda shit up here. Bathroom’s the only place I can get signal.”

“Kinda shit” turned out to be an understatement. Brock couldn’t even load his text messages. He tried for about an hour, walking around the cabin to all the different rooms, trying and failing to get any signal. Jose helped for a little while, climbing onto the edge of the bathtub to hold Brock’s phone up near the bathroom window, but not even that worked.

Eventually Brock gave up, shuffling back into the main room of the cabin, and let out a defeated sigh as he sunk down onto the couch. He could hear Jose rummaging through something in one of the other rooms, but didn’t think much of it. Instead, Brock resigned himself to staring out the window, watching as a few soft snowflakes began to fall outside.

Hopefully the storm didn’t end up being as bad as Nina had anticipated, but he had the sinking feeling she was going to be right. When it came down to safety matters, Nina was normally pretty good at judging a situation. So if she had decided it wasn’t safe for them to all meet up, then it probably wasn’t.

It made Brock uneasy. 

The whole thing made Brock uneasy.

His mind began to wander with possibilities._ How much snow would they end up getting? Would the roads freeze over completely? Did he make a mistake coming here in the first place? _

Before he could fall head-first into a downward spiral, Jose walked back into the room and plopped down beside him on the couch, simultaneously setting a stack of board games on the table in front of them. Brock couldn’t help the way his eyebrows furrowed as he looked over the games, then turned toward Jose.

“Board games?” He asked, hoping his confusion didn’t sound judgemental. Even though they had been broken up for what felt like an eternity at that point, he still found himself trying to spare Jose’s feelings, never wanting to hurt the other man in any way.

“For when we get stuck here and ain’t got shit to do,” Jose explained as he nodded his head definitively, a proud smile on his face.

“Ah, got it.” Brock had a bad habit of chewing at his bottom lip when he felt nervous or uncertain, a habit he found himself resorting back to in moments like the one he was currently in. He waited a moment before speaking again, his voice more timid this time. “You really think we’ll end up stuck here?”

“I - well fuck, I don’ know! All I know is they talkin’ ‘bout some blizzard? It don’t sound too good if you ask me.”’

Needless to say, _ blizzard _was not what Brock was hoping to hear.

He let out a groan, leaning back against the couch cushion as his feet stretched out along the floor. He didn’t want to be stuck in a cabin in the middle of the blizzard, much less with his _ ex _ of all people. Maybe when they were still together it would have been fine, a welcomed opportunity to spend hours wrapped up in each others’ arms without any interference from the outside world. It would have been _ romantic _. But now? Brock had a feeling it was only going to end up hurting them both.

Part of him wanted to run away, get back in his truck and drive away, but he knew that wasn’t a good idea. If he got caught driving in the blizzard, there was no telling what would happen to him. He was safer staying in the cabin with Jose, even though being around Jose made his heart feel the opposite of safe. 

* * *

After searching the cabinets for food and only finding a couple of old cans of soup that had questionable dates on them, Brock and Jose immediately agreed that they needed to get food from the store. They debated for a few minutes if they should go out that night or wait until morning, but decided if they left sooner, Brock could reach out to Steve and see if there were any flights heading out he could still book.

Finally deciding on a plan of attack, the pair scurried out to Brock’s truck, and Brock had to hold back a laugh as Jose attempted to lift himself up into the large vehicle. Once they were both seated and buckled in, Brock cranked the heat up as high as it would go and started driving.

The drive was relatively quiet and more than a bit tense. He could tell that Jose was holding back from saying something, but tried not to focus on that. Rather than sitting in silence for the entirety of the ride, Brock reached over to turn the radio on, a smile tugging at his lips when Jose let out a screech at the realization that a Rihanna song was playing on the radio. Immediately, the younger man began dancing in his seat and loudly singing along.

The sight warmed Brock’s heart, and it hurt to have to focus on the road instead of on Jose energetically performing _ Umbrella _in the passenger’s seat.

They finally arrived at the grocery store, or what used to be a grocery store. The rows and rows of shelves were nearly barren as most of the food had been heavily picked over. Maybe the storm _ was _ going to be that bad.

Jose didn’t seem bothered though, he grabbed a cart and began going up and down the aisles seeking out anything edible.

Brock shook his head at his ex who was mumbling under his breath. The older man smiled as Jose made a beeline for the candy aisle, and Brock bit his tongue on a scolding. What did it matter if Jose only ate chocolate for the next week? Brock wasn’t going to be there anyway.

While Jose was deciding between Recees and Kit-Kats, Brock pulled out his phone. There was only one tiny bar of service, but he tested his luck. 

He sent a quick summary text to Steve, explaining how he was stuck up in the mountains because of an incoming blizzard, intentionally opting out of telling him that he was stuck up in the mountains with only his ex for company.

Brock had to retry to send the message three times before it finally went through, but he received a response back almost immediately. 

_ S: all planes are grounded till the blizzard passes _

_ S: i can probably get you one for new years tho _

Brock looked up from his phone to see Jose had nearly filled their previously empty cart with candy. An instinctive smile wormed its way onto Brock’s face. 

_ S: Brock? _

Brock looked back down at his phone. His senses suddenly came back to him. 

_ He couldn’t stay here. He had things to do. Important things that were important. Things that were stable and fixed and made sense. Things that wouldn’t break his heart. _

_ B: Book it. _

Brock threw his phone into his jacket pocket and proceeded to try and talk Jose out of giving himself pre-diabetes at age 28. The younger man just rolled his eyes and said something about Brock needing to live a little.

The pair made their way through the grocery store, Brock picking up produce and canned soups and bread, Jose picking up chips and marshmallows and frozen pizzas. Brock tried to sneakily put back on the shelves some of the junk Jose had insisted on getting, but somehow, by the time they went to the cashier, he found that all the things he had put back were staring up at him from the cart.

Jose just gave a mischievous smile and handed over his card. Brock rolled his eyes and bit back a smile. 

As they headed out the door, the Christmas setup grabbed Jose’s attention.

There, amongst the heavily picked over decorations, was one lone Christmas tree. It was bent at a sharp angle at the top and had let go of most of its pine needles by this point, but Jose’s eyes lit up at the sight.

“We don’t need a Christmas tree.”

“Who said anything about we? You ‘bout to leave anyway.”

Brock chuckled nervously. “Well, actually there aren’t any flights till New Years.”

“Oh.”

“So, I was planning on staying with yo- at the cabin till the storm passes.”

“Hmm.”

“But only if it’s okay with you!” Brock rushed out nervously.

Jose got that weird look in his eyes again and looked to the floor. “It’s whatever.”

Brock nodded slowly. “Okay then.”

Jose’s demeanor changed on a dime. “But I get the master bedroom!” 

Brock chuckled. “Fine. Fine.”

“And we gettin’ this tree.”

“J-”

Before Brock could blink they were back at the cabin with a truck full of groceries and a wonky Christmas tree.

* * *

It didn’t take long for Jose to disappear once they were back inside the cabin and had put away all the groceries. Brock wasn’t entirely sure where Jose had disappeared to, but he figured the younger man was probably off trying to find a base and a skirt for the tree.

For a moment, Brock considered tracking down Jose to help with the tree. But then his stomach growled in an obnoxiously loud fashion, and he redirected his attention to the newly stocked cabinets in the kitchen.

Brock wasn’t someone who cooked very often, as his schedule rarely ever permitted him to be in his own home long enough for him to feel a desire to cook. But knowing that he would be stuck in the cabin for a few more days and all the local restaurants were inevitably closed, Brock resigned himself to cooking. 

It wasn’t that he disliked the activity, it just wasn’t something he often wanted to spend time doing. After all, his time could be better spent doing things to better his career.

But he was on a break, taking a few days off while he waited for this damn blizzard to pass. That meant he didn’t have to worry about his career, at least for a couple of days. Right?

He tried to push all work-related thoughts out of his brain as he set out to cook, pulling ingredients down from the cabinets overhead. Brock found himself humming softly as he worked, chopping vegetables and heating up the necessary pans. It was almost relaxing to be able to cook while dealing with the storm and the fact that he was still stuck in such close quarters with his ex.

By the time Brock finished cooking almost half an hour later, Jose still hadn’t reappeared yet. For a moment he was concerned, wondering if the younger man had wandered out into the snow and gotten lost, but he knew Jose better than that. Jose was a Floridian through and through. The snow had never been his thing and Brock knew Jose would take every chance he could to avoid going outside.

Shaking his head fondly at the thought, Brock split the food between two bowls and pulled out a pair of forks. He then carefully picked them both up and went on the hunt to find Jose.

* * *

“How are you so good at this? You suck at spelling in texts!” 

“Don’t hate the playa, hate the game, baby.” Jose laughed leaning back against the couch cushion fort he had constructed on the floor.

They were sat in front of the fireplace playing, well- trying to play Scrabble. Brock was losing terribly, something he still wasn’t quite sure how was happening. 

“I changed my mind, I hate Scrabble.”

“Fine. What other board game you want me to beat yo ass at?” 

Brock rolled his eyes and picked up the next game in the stack.

After several hours of Brock getting his ass kicked, suffering one crippling defeat after another, Brock finally decided to turn in for the night. 

True to his word, he let Jose have the master bedroom. Brock surveyed the six other bedrooms in the cabin before finally settling on the second biggest one. As the exes said their goodnights, Brock couldn’t help but feel a bit… lost. 

It was strange. 

Even with the aforementioned ass-kicking, he hadn’t remembered having that much fun in a long time. He tried not to think about it too much. Luckily he had the luxury, or austerity of the bitter cold to distract him. While his room was large, it also meant it warmed slowly. Brock got up to change the thermostat at least five times in the span of twenty minutes. After that still didn’t work, he made his way to the other bedrooms and stole all the blankets he could. He piled them all up on top of each other but still couldn’t seem to get warm.

Eventually, he threw them off, figuring he could see if Jose had any extra blankets he could borrow.

Brock made his way out of his room and down the hallway silently, feeling like he had to tiptoe to avoid making any noise, not wanting to wake Jose should he be asleep. He knocked lightly on the master bedroom door and waited for a moment. When he didn’t receive an answer right away, he opened it slowly, trying not to let too much light from the hallway leak in. 

The younger man made no signs of moment, so Brock inched into the room slowly until he was standing above a sleeping Jose.

“J?” Brock whispered, hoping the other man wouldn’t be mad at being woken up.

Jose groggily blinked open his eyes before murmuring his response. “Brock?”

“Hey, sorry, didn’t mean to wake you, but my room is freezing, do you have a blanket to spare?”

“This one’s heated, get in,” Jose replied, motioning to the sizable blanket he was under. 

The words made Brock pause for a moment, frozen in place. 

His ex was trying to get him in bed with him. Even though they weren’t together anymore. Even though this was _ not _something exes were meant to do. And yet here Jose was, suggesting they throw caution and boundaries to the wind and just share a bed.

The very idea of it terrified Brock.

He couldn’t remember the last time he shared a bed with Jose, the time they spent together feeling like a distant blur at that moment. He knew that if he got into bed with Jose, there was a chance that his walls might come crumbling down, the last protective barrier around his heart reduced to rubble. It was a risk he wasn’t sure he wanted to take, uncertain if he could handle the consequences. 

But then Jose let out a tired huff and patted the spot beside him, and Brock caved. He didn’t want to be rude, so he hesitantly climbed in beside Jose, pulling the blanket up to his chin.

Brock immediately let out a sigh at the warmth that enveloped him.

“I know, right?” Jose’s voice was muffled.

Brock laughed quietly, still trying to not fully wake the younger man.

He let himself relax. Well, as much as he was able to with his ex-boyfriend lying mere inches away from him. 

He must have fallen asleep at some point because he woke up several hours later to a cold spot beside him and a cold spot in his chest. 

Brock made his way out of the master bedroom and into the living room to find Jose dancing around their wonky Christmas tree, holding some string lights he had found from God knows where in the massive cabin. He was humming along to holiday classics, and by holiday classics, Brock meant that Mariah Carey’s _ All I Want For Christmas Is You _was on repeat for almost an hour.

Brock laughed out loud at the sight, unable to stop himself. The scene before him warmed his heart because it reminded him of the man he had fallen in love with. Quirky, charismatic, able to make even the dullest moments seem radiant.

Jose turned around at the sound and had the decency to blush. He looked mildly embarrassed, but his embarrassment was quickly replaced with his signature sass.

“What you laughin’ at, hoe?”

“Nothing, I just… didn’t expect to spend my Christmas Eve stranded up in the middle of nowhere in a cabin with you, Mariah, and a sad-looking Christmas tree.”

“Hey! Don’t call her sad! She’s got feelins.”

“Oh, so it’s a she?”

Jose rolled his eyes as if it was obvious. 

“Okay, okay!” Brock held up his hands in surrender. “How can I help?”

“Well, you can use them long legs to put the star on top.”

“Right on, boss.”

After a few minutes of bickering over if white or colored lights on the tree would look better, Jose forbade Brock from touching the tree at all. He sent him to the closet in the hallway to rummage around for other decorations to put around the living room.

The whole process left them both exhausted and swearing off Mariah Carey for the foreseeable future. They collapsed on the couch in a sweaty pile. Brock was too tired to freak out about their bodies flush against one another. They stayed in that position for a while, and eventually, they both fell asleep. Brock phased in and out of consciousness, shifting his position every now and again. When he finally woke up, Jose’s head was pressed against his chest, arms wrapped around Brock’s torso.

Brock instinctively brought a hand up to card through Jose’s short hair. He swore the younger man started purring at one point. 

He didn’t care.

Brock was happy. His chest was warm from more than just the added weight. He was happy. He felt safe. This felt… right. 

And for the first time since arriving at the cabin, Brock didn’t overthink anything. He was just there. He was just happy. And that was enough for now.

* * *

At some point the previous night, the pair had made their way back to the bedroom, curling up together beneath the heated blanket once more. It was nice being able to cuddle with Jose as he fell asleep. Something about the younger man pressed against his chest resulted in the best night’s sleep Brock had had in months.

But when he woke up the next morning, Jose wasn’t curled up beside him anymore.

He was lying alone in the middle of the bed, blanket wrapped securely around himself. Brock sat up and slowly glanced around, his eyes scanning the room for any sign of Jose. When he didn’t spot the other man, Brock felt his heart sink, slowly pulling himself out of bed to go search for his ex.

Brock found him sitting in the living room, looking out the window at the falling snow. The sight was beautiful. It was made even more beautiful by the man now smiling up at him from the couch.

“Merry Christmas,” Jose said, smiling softly. 

“Merry Christmas,” Brock repeated.

Jose pulled out a small bag from beside the couch and held it out to Brock.

“You got me something?”

“It’s nothin’. Just somethin’ I saw that reminded me of ya.”

“J, I-”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, I got it ages ago.”

Brock smiled at the implication. Jose had gotten him a Christmas gift ages ago, just because he saw something he knew Brock would like.

Brock moved the tissue paper out of the way to reveal a small black box. He flipped open the lid to find a familiar-looking script.

Inside was a necklace with _ Twinkle _ written on it in simple cursive scrawl, connected to a gold chain. 

“I know you got your ‘Mommy’ one that you always wearin’, but I thought-”

Brock cut him off. “It’s perfect.”

_ It was. It was perfect. _

“I love it. Thank you, J.”

“You’re welcome.”

The two looked at each other for another moment, tension growing by the second. Jose finally looked back down at his feet.

“So, umm, you leavin’ soon?”

“I have a flight booked for New Years.”

“Wow.” There was a pause. “That’s soon.”

“Well, we’ve still got a few days left. Plenty of time for you to kick my ass at all those board games again.” Brock joked. 

Jose smiled, but it lacked warmth. “Yeah. Plenty of time,” he echoed.

Seeing the way Jose’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes made Brock’s stomach turn. He desperately wanted to say something that would cheer Jose up, something that would bring back the booming laughter that Brock had so quickly fallen in love with. But at the same time, he didn’t know what could possibly make the situation any better.

Their time together was limited, and it was clear that Jose was not happy with the impending expiration date on whatever they were doing here. A part of Brock couldn’t blame him, hated the idea of leaving Jose when it finally felt like they were returning to a sense of normalcy. But on the other hand, Brock knew he needed to get back to his work life, focus on his career again. Unfortunately, their careers were no longer intertwined like they once were, meaning Brock’s focus would be on a picture where Jose was nowhere to be found.

Ultimately, Brock decided to just drop the topic of his leaving altogether, instead talking Jose into a rematch round of Scrabble.

* * *

New Years Eve brought back an even bigger well of emotions. They watched together as the clock ticked down to midnight, Jose’s phone propped up on the coffee table in front of where they sat on the couch. It felt weird watching the New Years Eve countdown on a phone, but it was the best they could do, considering there weren’t any TVs in the cabin.

Brock felt antsy as the seconds neared midnight, Jose bouncing excitedly on the cushion beside him. They had spent the better part of the evening discussing resolutions and plans for the new year, but avoided talking about whatever it was they had going on. But now, with less than a minute until midnight, it almost didn’t feel real to Brock.

Were they really about to enter a new year together? Technically they weren’t _ together _together, but it still felt nice having Jose by his side as the clock wound down.

The seconds seemed to fly by, speeding towards midnight with reckless abandon. The moment the clock struck twelve, Brock found himself eagerly kissing Jose, unsure exactly who had started the kiss. It was funny to Brock how one kiss could feel like coming home, like the pieces of his heart had finally fit back together properly. With the sound of fireworks coming from Jose’s phone, their kiss felt like the most celebrated _welcome home_ Brock would ever experience.

* * *

Since their kiss the previous night, things felt tense between Brock and Jose. There was a certain sadness that filled the cabin, Jose watching quietly from a distance as Brock packed all of his stuff up. The silence was killing Brock, but he couldn’t find a way to cut through the tension in the air until after he had finished packing to leave. Turning to Jose, he paused for a second before speaking.

“Roads aren’t super icy anymore, so it should be fine.”

“Good. Stay safe.”

“Okay then.” Brock paused by the door and turned back to look at Jose. “I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah.” 

A moment of silence passed between them, making Brock uneasy before he was able to speak again.

“We should, um, grab coffee, uh, or something. When you’re in the area... or, you know, when I’m... in the area.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, um. See ya?”

“See ya.”

Brock closed the door lightly behind himself and made his way over to his truck almost in a daze. The cold air on his skin didn’t help his mind clear the way he thought it would, it only muddled his thoughts further. These past days felt like a dream. A wonderful dream that he really didn’t want to wake up from. 

He got into his truck and started the engine. The blast from his heating unit was what finally did it.

Maybe the dream didn’t have to end.

No, they couldn’t stay huddled up in this cabin forever, but that wasn’t what made them work. Being together, seeing each other, getting to learn new things about each other, that was what made this past week so special. It wasn’t some blizzard-induced dream state. It was just them. Just them… getting to be them… together.

Brock turned off his car and hopped out without another thought. He swung open the door, clearly shocking Jose, who wiped a few stray tears from his face.

“You didn’t ask me to stay.”

Jose stood up from the couch and walked towards him slowly, cautiously, though his words were harsh. “Brock, this ain’t no Hallmark movie. I don’t know what you thinkin’. All I know is you was about to leave and now you back and mad I didn’t chase ya.”

Brock stepped closer to Jose, till there were only a few feet between them. “J, fucking hell. I-I want to stay. I want to be here. I want to be with you.”

Jose took another step forward, and they were now only inches apart. 

“I dunno what you want me to say,” Jose whispered.

Brock carefully placed his hands on either side of Jose’s face. They were close, so close that they were breathing the same air, and it just felt _ right _. Like this was exactly where Brock was meant to be. 

“Ask me to stay.”

“Brock-”

“Just do it.”

Jose paused, wariness and fear and all the bad things that broke them up in the first place played out behind his eyes.

But just as soon as they came, they were gone.

“Stay here. Stay here with me.” Jose spoke firmly. “Please.” He added softly.

Brock didn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face.

“I’d like nothing more.”

The moment they leaned forward and their lips met, it felt like Brock was finally home. There was no more uncertainty, no more dancing around their feelings. The outside world didn’t matter, and Brock was no longer worried about getting back to his work life as soon as possible. Everything else faded into the background, all that mattered in that moment was Jose.

They kissed like their lives depended on it, every ounce of desperation and longing poured into the kiss. Arms wrapped around each other, holding one another close, because neither one of them ever wanted to let go.

Letting go had been a mistake the first time around. But it was a mistake they wouldn’t make again.


End file.
